A Princess Bride and an Arrogant Prince
by pokemonisthebest
Summary: Basically, the princess bride contestshipping style with a few changes as some of the lines were kinda OOC. Contestshipping RULEZ! Chapter 5 up!
1. Chapter 1

**Me: I'm back! **

**Drew: Oh, come on, can't you finish one fic without starting another one???**

**May: Yay!!!!**

**Me:!!!!**

**May:!!!**

**Drew: Ok, what is WITH the exclamation points???**

**Me: Well…**

**May: What's with the question marks?**

**Drew:?**

**May:!**

**Drew:?**

**May:!**

**Me: OMG, LOL…they're fighting without talking! Don't own pokemon or the Princess Bride!**

Chapter one

The story

Dun dun dun dun dun durrrrrrrrrrrr…

Tommy's eyes moved from the TV screen to the trailing cord to his mother's hand.

"Tommy! Grandpa's coming!"

He groaned.

"But Mum, he'll pinch my cheek!"

His mother pouted.

"Well, maybe he won't this time! He should be here in about…"

"GRANPA'S IN THE HOUSE!"

Grandpa came bursting in, and pinched Tommy's cheek. Tommy gave his mum a 'told-you-so' look, and she returned it with a 'Not-my-fault!" glance.

"Today, I'm going to read you very special book!"

Tommy raised one eyebrow.

"What's it about?"

"Anything and everything, Tommy."

"Has it got baseball in it?"

Grandpa hesitated.

"Well, most everythings."

Tommy sighed.

"Well, it can't hurt."

**Me: There! Anyone who has seen The Princess Bride, I salute you!**

**Drew: She's obsessed with it. Pokemon and the Princess Bride will keep her entertained for hours. She REALLY needs to get a life.**

**Me: It's a good thing your character is a bit OOC, otherwise I would hurt you. **

**Drew: OOC? How much OOC?**

**Me: Well, of course I tailored it a bit to your liking…**

**Drew: Really?**

**Me: But not much.**

**Drew: (growls)**

**Me: I love bugging Drew!**


	2. Chapter one

**Me: I kinda couldn't go to rest thinking of that only just begun story…**

**Drew: Yippee, we get to do more character talks.**

**May: Yippee!**

**Drew: Oh joy, oh happiness, oh ecstasy beyond physical belief…**

**May: What was that last part again?**

**Drew: Why did I ever get together with this idiot? I should have gotten together with some other girl…**

**May: (smiles sweetly) Misty? Can I borrow your mallet?**

**Drew: Since when was Misty here? Do you expect me to fall for that one?**

**Misty: Sure! (Hands over mallet)**

**Drew: Uh-oh…**

**May: DIE-EVIL-DREW!**

**Drew: AAAAAAHHHHH!**

Chapter two

Chapter one

There once was a beautiful girl called May. She lived in a big house, with stables and everything. She loved horses and rode once every day at least. When she went to the stable, she always saw that stable boy, Drew. Only she never called him that. He was 'stable boy' to her. He was extremely rude; the only words he ever said to her were "do it yourself'. Eventually, though, she realized that those three words actually meant 'I love you' and she also realized that she loved him b-

"This story is boring!"

Tommy complained. Grandpa scowled.

"You are so like me when I was your age…BE PATIENT!"

-ack.

But, one day, Drew was called away to be a cabin boy on a ship. As May said her final farewell, a single teardrop fell onto the ground.

May wasn't very old. Twenty years passed…she had been promised to Prince Brendan Birch. She didn't want to-but he was the prince; she had to do as he said. News came that the ship Drew was on had been taken captive by the dread pirate Giovanni, and he left no survivors.

One day, May was riding her horse in the forest. She came across three men; one was short, had raven hair and had a confused look on his face; one was huge, he had spiky brown hair and slit eyes; and one was quite tall, had long purple hair and was wearing a cactus outfit.

"Excuse me, can you tell us if there are any towns or villages nearby, hun?" the one in the cactus suit asked girlishly. May said monotonously (she hadn't said anything expressive for twenty years)

"No. None for miles around."

The cactus-man grinned wickedly, showing yellow teeth.

"Then there will be no-one to hear you scream…"

**Me: Tah-di-dah! **

**Drew: OMG! **

**May: Did he say that? WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH DREW???**

**Drew: I can't believe what you just made me do…**

**Me: Get over it before the next chapter…I'm writing that tonight too…**

**Drew: Great.**


	3. Black Guy

**Me: I'm back! Who wants to know what happens to May?**

**May: Me!!!**

**Me: Wha-? What are you doing here?**

**Drew: Pokemonisthebest doesn't own pokemon!**

**May: On with the story!**

**Me: Wait! What-**

Chapter three

Kidnapped

"Harley? Why did we kidnap Princess June again?" The big fat guy asked. Harley said wearily,

"For the umpteenth time, Brock, it's Princess May, and we want Prince Birch to make war on the neighbouring region, Kanto, so we are making out that they kidnapped her."

"Oh." Brock thought for a second, then said

"Harley? Why did we kidnap Princess June again?"

Harley almost ripped his hair out in frustration. Ash said calmly.

"He's never going to get it. Give up."

The trio were so busy arguing that they almost didn't notice a faint splash. Fortunately, they did and rushed to look over the side of the ship. There was Princess May, still slightly tangled in her sack. Suddenly, there was a shriek. May looked at her captors in panic.

"What was that?"

Harley smirked (Whoa! Drew alert!)

"That, my precious, is the electric eels and I bet they're very hungry right about now…"

May spun around in the water to meet a sharp row of teeth…

"There!" Grandpa slammed the book shut. Tommy sat upright in dismay.

"What!? That can't be the end of the story!"

"Well, it isn't. I thought you didn't even want to hear the story?"

Tommy looked down and said in a muffled voice

"Well, maybe just a little bit more…"

Grandpa smirked, and opened the book once more.

"Where were we…? Oh yes…"

"That, my precious, is the…"

"Done that!"

"Oh, right…Well then…"

Luckily, Princess May felt herself being hauled upwards. There she was, right where she had started. She sighed.

Meanwhile, though he didn't say, Harley had been watching a ship behind them.

"Inconceivable! No-one could have followed us…"

Eventually, they reached a cliff. Brock strapped them onto his body, and hauled them up the whole thing. However, when they reached the top they looked down, there was a man dressed in black who had come from the ship!

"Inconceivable!" Harley muttered. Ash cocked an eyebrow (OMG the characters have MAJOR Drew issues)

"I think you have got the meaning of that word confused with something else."

Harley growled, and said

"Well, you stay and finish him off."

Ash saluted mockingly (DREW ALERT)

When the man climbed to the top, they had conversation before they fought;

"I am Ash Ketchum. My father was killed by a six-fingered man. When I meet this man I will say to him 'Hello. My name is Ash Ketchum. You killed my father. Prepare to die.' You don't have six fingers, do you? Good. I have been training in sword fighting for twenty years. Let us fight!"

Well, actually Ash talked and the man in black listened. They commenced.

Ash darted; Black Guy dodged; they circled;

After a while, the Black Guy got incredibly close to cutting off Ash's head. Then Ash said

"I have to tell you something; I'm not left-handed!" he grinned in the last part, and tossed his sword to his right hand. They fought some more, and then Ash almost forced Black Guy off the cliff. Then Black Guy said something

"I have to tell you something too. I'm not left handed either!" He switched hands, and knocked Ash's sword flying. Ash gulped and knelt down, preparing to die (heh heh) He heard the man's voice, and his footsteps, and deduced that he was walking around him in circles.

"You are a fine swordsman; it would be a pity to waste you." With that, he knocked Ash out with the flat of his sword, and continued running.

"Inconceivable!"

Harley and Brock had been watching from further on, and presently Harley left Brock to deal with Black Guy, while he carried on with the princess.

I won't go into details about their body fight, but basically Black Guy climbed onto Brock's back and Brock bashed himself onto a rock until he knocked himself out.

"INCONCEIVABLE!"

Harley decided it was a battle of wits…

When Black Guy reached Harley, he was sitting down.

"Let us have a battle of brains, rather than brawn…"

Black Guy held up a hand.

"I have an idea."

There was a black back pack on the black mans back (try saying that ten times really fast!) and from it he took out two goblets, a flask of wine, and a vial of white poison.

"I will pour wine into BOTH these goblets, and poison into ONE of them."

Black Guy did so behind his back. He then placed the goblets on the ground; one near to him, one near to Harley. Harley shouted

"WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOUR BACK!?"

Black Guy spun around. Harley switched the goblets around. When they had both recovered, they drank. Harley started to laugh.

"Ha ha ha! You fool! I switched the goblets around when you weren't looking! Ha ha…"

In the middle of his 'ha's, Harley dropped down dead. Princess May, who had been watching from nearby, asked out of curiosity

"Which goblet was it in?"

"Both." Was the answer. "I spent the last twenty years growing immunity to that type of poison."

With that, he grabbed her by the hand, and pulled her along behind him.

They reached the top of a steep hill. May sat down on a rock and said calmly

"I know who you are. You're the dread pirate Giovanni."

Black Guy bowed.

"At your service."

"You killed my lover. Drew."

"Ah yes, I think I remember him. He died a clean death; no begging, no bribing. He just said 'please. I have a lover.'"

May couldn't take anymore.

"You can rot in hell for all I care!"

She pushed him down the hill. His voice came floating up to her:

"Do…it…yourself!"

**Me: Yay!**

**May: Oh great.**

**Drew: Why did I get pushed down a hill!?**

**Me: Oops, forgot to say…in this fic will be quite a lot of Drew bashing! Yay! Oh, BTW, pokelover4ever gave me a great idea for Two Dumb idiots! I might write it up tonight, but don't count on it…**

**R&R!**


	4. Reunited

**Me: I know some of you were confused by the end of the last chapter, but in this one DREW WILL EXPLAIN!**

Drew: Huh?

**Me: Not in the character talks.**

**Drew: Oh.**

**Me: Don't own pokemon, ON WITH THE STORY!**

Chapter 4

Reunited

May clapped her hand over her mouth in horror. _Drew! What have I done?_

Then there was that confusing moment when you were all by yourself and you didn't know what to do. It was the same moment when you go to a lot of trouble to get to a party, and when you get there, there's nobody there. In this case, May threw herself down the hill after him, shouting things like "Ow!" or "Ouch, that HURT!"

When she reached the bottom, she threw herself on Drew, kissing him to her hearts content.

"Uh…May?" Drew muttered "I'm happy to see you too, but CAN YOU GET OFF OF ME NOW?" May flushed, and got up. They started to head towards the Fire Forest. Drew knew this, May didn't. So she was just a teensy bit surprised when mini volcanoes started shooting fire from the floor, singing her skirt.

While they went through this, Drew explained

"I wasn't lying when I said I was Giovanni. He did take our ship, but seeing how talented I was," Drew smirked, May rolled her eyes "He took me into his ship. So, for about eighteen years I stayed there. Then he took me into his cabin and told me a secret. He wasn't really Giovanni. His name was James. The real Giovanni had passed away ages ago, passing on the title to James. But then it was time for James to retire to his wife, Jessie. So he gave me the title. I spent the rest of the time searching for you, and here we are in the Fire Forest."

Something dawned on May; she had paid attention in her geography classes as a child, and she knew where the Fire Forest was!

Suddenly, she was sinking.

Drew smacked his forehead. Of course! How could he forget the quick sand? But he thought fast and grabbed a firm branch, jumping in after her.

Above his head, a gigantic rabbit sniffed the ground with interest, but passed on. (I know what you're thinking, totally random. But it comes in later, so remember the rabbit!)

Drew pulled with all his strength, and managed to haul himself and May up. May clung onto him for dear life. She only then remembered what she had been told inhabited the Fire Forest…

"What about the ROHPs?"

"Rabbits of Huge Proportions? I don't believe in-aaarrrrgh!"

Ironically, a massive rabbit attacked him about then. When he finally managed to strangle it, there was a deep cut on his shoulder. May rushed forward, but Drew stopped her.

"I'm…ok…really."

He dragged her on. When they finally got out of the forest, they were jubilant, but it didn't last for long. Little had they known that Prince Birch had been following them on horseback. He and his men pulled up in front of him.

"May, darling, I will rescue you from this fiend. Come here!"

He said. Drew instinctively held on to May.

"We know the secrets of the Fire Forest. We could live here forever!"

But May said tearfully

"If I go with you, will you let Drew go?"

Everybody stared at her, including Drew.

"Will you?"

She continued with wide eyes. Prince Birch crossed his fingers behind his back, and said comfortingly

"Of course, sweetheart."

May smiled, and climbed onto his horse in front of him. Drew watched them leave helplessly. Then he looked up at Prince Birch's right hand man. He had six fingers. Drew grinned.

"Someone's looking for you!"

And with that he was led away.

**Drew: How DARE you make her go away with Birchy Boy?**

**Me: What can I say? I'm evil.**

**Drew: I hate you.**

**Me: I know. R&R!**


	5. The pit of despair

**Me: Sorry I haven't updated everyone! I don't really have an excuse except…LilZee, I really really miss you! Of course, I know her full name, not just fan fiction. She was my best friend in real life until she moved. I'm seeing her over the weekend though:)**

**Drew: Yeah…so?**

**Me: I can't believe this…I go to all this trouble to put you in this fic and what? Maybe I should have made this advancedshipping…**

**Drew and May: NO!**

**Me: Just kidding! I HATE advancedshipping with every fibre of my being. And I don't care how many advancedshippers read that. Not that they would get this far without realizing it was contestshipping. And then they would be VERY dumb. **

**Drew: She doesn't own pokemon or the princess bride.**

**May: On with the story!**

Chapter 5

The pit of despair

Drew woke up to see an albino washing his shoulder, ridding the blood that the ROHP had left.

"Where am I?"

"The pit of despair! Don't even think about trying to escape. The chains are far too thick."

Drew only then noticed that he was lying on a metal bed. Chains bound him fast. The albino went on; all the time healing Drew's wound.

"Besides, the only people who know the way in here are me, Prince Birch and Count Rugan."

Drew cocked his eyebrow.

"So I'm here til I die?"

"Til they kill you, yeah."

Drew glanced at his shoulder, and asked suspiciously

"Then why bother healing me?"

"The Count always insists on the prisoners being healthy before they're broken."

"So it's to be torture? I can handle torture."

The albino shook his head. Drew looked at him.

"Don't believe me?"

"You survived the Fire Forest; you must be very brave. But no-one withstands the Machine."

(Dramatic music!)

The present king died. That meant they needed Birch.

Princess May married Birch and he presented her to the people.

"My people," he began-

"Grandpa, you read that wrong!"

Grandpa looked over his spectacles at Tommy.

"Huh?"

"May doesn't marry Birch, she marries Drew, and I'm just sure of it, if she doesn't, after all that Drew did for her, it just wouldn't be fair!"

"Who said that life was fair? Where is that written? Life isn't always fair."

Tommy was getting really excited now.

"Who gets Birch?"

"I don't understand."

"Who kills Prince Birch? At the end, somebody's gotta do it! Is it Ash? Who?"

"Nobody kills him. He lives."

"So he wins? Jesus, Grandpa, what did you read me this thing for?"

"Do you want me to keep reading or not?"

"Yes."

"Then no more interruptions."

"This is your queen- Queen May!"

As May walked out, there were cheers all around. But there was one boo.

"Boo! Boo!" A hag came close to her. May cried

"Why do you do this?"

"Because you had love in your hands!"

She turned to the crowd.

"Love saved her in the Fire Forest, and she treated it like garbage! And that's what she is! The queen of refuse! So bow down to her; bow down to the queen of slime, muck, boo boo!"

May awoke in her bed. It was ten days to the wedding, and the king lived, but May's nightmares were steadily growing worse and worse.

"Didn't I tell you she would never marry that rotten Birch?"

"Yes, you're very smart. Shut up."

May burst into Birch's office. He was still awake.

"It comes to this. I love Drew and I always have; and believe this, if you tell me I have to marry you in ten days, I will be dead by morning!"

Birch sighed.

"I could never cause you grief…consider our wedding off! If, of course, you're sure he still wants you…after all, it was you who did the leaving in the Fire Forest…"

"My Drew will always come for me."

"Oookay. He is a sailor for the Dread Pirate Giovanni, is he not? Well, he is always close to Hoenn this time of year; I will send my four fastest ships, one in each direction. If he still loves you, bless you both. If not, please consider me as an alternative to suicide?"

May nodded.

**Me: Galbinus-Rayquaza, ****please understand that I am strictly following the script from the film, and I do not think that Brendan is evil.**

**R&R, no flames plz! **


End file.
